108 days later… [Car Sold, Thanksgiving & This too shall pass]

Sad in Seattle (WA, USA), oily rain running down on asphalt, Nov 24, 2011…

Makes no sense from space...

Blogpost’s song: Ray LaMontagne Performs “New York City’s Killing Me” [tx Chris!]

“… I get so tired of all this concrete.
I get so tired of all this noise.
Gotta get back up in the country,
And have a couple drinks with the good ole’ boys.

I just got to get me somewhere,
Somewhere that I can be free,
Get me out of New York City, son, Seattle,
New York City’s Seattle’s killin’ me…”

Thank you, sweet first car. We had an awesome adventure together.

Craigslist and UsedVictoria and just talking to people were helpful for selling all kinds of stuff, except my car.  It didn’t lead to anything but a couple emails saying what amounted to “most you’re gonna get is $500 max“.  A friend in the car business said the same.  I didn’t want to believe it.  But it’s apparently the nature of the game.  The market’s flooded with old cars, and at auctions they go for $300 or less, if they get bid on at all…  Too much risk.  If I had lots of extra time (in the USA, that is), a phone to be reached at, and put some extra effort into advertising it,… Yeah, I probably could have gotten double, maybe even more, when selling it privately (’cause it was very well taken care of, also by the Australians that drove it before I did), but since that hadn’t worked yet… dealership it was.  Learned a lot (which may come in handy next time I buy a car), but… all-in-all… what a nightmare…

"The land shall be criss-crossed by a giant spider's web." (5th of 9 signs of the coming Great Purification, in the Hopi Prophesy.) CLICK IMAGE for prophesy.

Sure, the car was old, high mileage, bound to break down again soon,… Yeah yeah…  I didn’t want to believe it, so so-called “offers” for $200 or $300 sounded almost like bluff, which I took for greedy nonsense.  Eventually, it was already after dark, I had an option to call someone for $350 cash as a last resort.  Eight (8) freak’n dealers… a whole day on coffee and water… Eventually I returned to the one where I liked the people and with lots of patience I got $400.  Better than nothing.

Oh well.  Sure… my sweet Chevy Blazer has been driven 178,452 miles (287,188 km) since 1994 (on average that’s about 29 miles (46 km) per day for 17 years straight, or over 7 times around the planet total.), but still…

I was a bit bummed my travel budget is now restricted to food and lodging only, with little or no room for splurging…  :-(  With only 3 business days left before my departure day, I was nevertheless very relieved to have this dealt with.  With zero cash left, and ‘insufficient funds’ to even withdraw a $20 from an ATM, I damn enjoyed the meal and couple drinks later in the evening. (After walking 50 blocks and then scoring a ride for the second half, saving me another hour and a half walking home in the rain [tx Jim!].

My 108-day driveabout (August 8 to November 24) in search of ‘home’, from Park City, Utah to Victoria and then back to Seattle, with all its mini-trips included, rounded off at 3,323 miles (5.348 kilometers); just 1 mile/day more than the car’s life-so-far daily average, but there were many weeks I never even used the car at all.

Thanksgiving / Genocide Remembrance Day... CLICK IMAGE FOR SOURCE.

My Thanksgiving Holiday… was okay… for a depressed grey paved-over day in a big city far away from family…

I watched a game of American Football on a big screen TV (San Francisco 49ers versus Baltimore’s Ravens)  This doesn’t even sound like me, I know, but… Good game.  How many times did that ‘niner quarterback (11) get sacked? … Like I care…  Anyhow, was nice to have a little social interaction with some kind strangers over a glass of cabernet…  Kept getting free drinks on the house after I closed my mini tab, and thus missed the potluck dinner at the hostel; so I opted for the turkey dinner where I was instead.  The bartender had some good crack-overdose and drowning near-death experience stories.  Bonus.  The food was awesome, too.  So full…

But since arriving in this paved-over built-up weird concrete & asphalt world of straight lines and highway noise, I’ve been feeling pretty darn depressed.  It pretty much hit me upon arrival (just like the complete opposite happened when I arrived in Canada by ferry), but maybe the stress of needing to sell the car just so I could eat played a role too, and the cold wind and rain storm… I don’t know…

One day in the biosphere. -- Vancouver Island, BC

Most likely it’s just that striking extreme contrast between a cozy green Canadian town with a mellow island vibe, and a big American city with a full-on depressing urban edge…

Spent a couple days in Manhattan in 2009, but that’s pretty much it in recent years…  I guess I hadn’t been in a major metropolitan area in the US …in years…

.

Another day in the technosphere -- Seattle, WA. Not my photo - click for source.

Strange how it can somehow induce even suicidal thoughts.  Self-loathing, wanting to die, losing all interest in everything I set out to do, negative wishful thinking,…  Kinda blew me away, actually. I’ve been feeling so good for months, then this.  Bam. Like turning off a light switch.

Luckily I have enough (meditation) experience to not take thoughts all too seriously.  It can be tempting to believe them, but I’m jaded when it comes to thoughts.  They arise and pass, just like happy thoughts.  Nothing’s permanent and this is bound to shift again someday too.  Suicide’s just lack of patience.  Nobody gets out of here alive anyhow.  Not worried.  This too shall pass…

© The New Yorker Magazine - click for source I plucked it from. (Fair Use)

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